The fridge.

Here’s a new word for your vocabulary. (No, it’s PG-rated.) The word is ‘saddle valve’, sometimes called a ‘tee-valve.’

This kind of valve is the quick way to tap a larger line for a trickle flow, say, of water. This kind of valve was invented in ancient Rome, when people near public waterpipes and aquaducts saw all that nice water going overhead and, well, got inventive. In places where the aediles (public works commissioners) only visited during election week, it looked like spiderweb.

The essence of a saddle valve is this: a screwdown pipe-shaped clamp, with a little valve with a piercing point, a little turning handle, and a hose opening, for 1/4 inch hose. To install this valve, you simply clean an area of pipe, clamp this device firmly in place, and turn the tiny handle until it pieces the pipe and water begins to flow into the 1/4 inch hose up to the fridge. Nothing could be simpler: no welding or pipe fitting: it’s a water vampire with a tiny, tiny hollow tooth.

Well, a refrigerator icemaker tends to have its supply from a line from a saddle valve, sometimes on the cold line for the sink—or in our case, on one of the main cold-lines in the basement. And it was behaving beautifully—but we had a little problem figuring how to shut it down to get the new icemaker on: the turn-handle is very primitive and has no direction indication.

Now, the deliveryman’s assistant was a very nice handsome lad whose principal job was lifting the refrigerator and the dolly around corners, single-handed. You get the picture. Strong fellow. And good-hearted. Hearing about the trouble with the shutdown of the valve, he went downstairs to help Jane, while I stayed upstairs to shout down to Jane whether the water was off or not.

The valve used to turn easily. The lad tightened it—I fear one jump from piercing the other side of the pipe!—until it has two positions narrowly separated, and only a trickle of water comes through.

So…while Jane is closing in on a cover for her brand new CC book…I am going to have to go to the hardware and get a new saddle valve.

Replacing a saddle valve requires a) shutting down all water in the house (where this is located) and then screwing the piercing-point of the new saddle valve until just a tiny bit protrudes (further than doing a new one, but then we already have a hole in that pipe: that’s made by the old one, and that’s why we shut the water off, la!—) Then you futz the little piercer into the hole, then tighten the clamp a lot AND the little turn-handle a bit, and we should then, finally, have water in the icemaker.