or…CJ installs the uv lights.

These are two delicate, spendy glass wands with a VERY delicate fixture at the top, heavy cord, and two very heavy ballasts. They fit into the skimmer to kill algae spores.

I go out there with 2 boxes (the lights) —and a Y connector for the electric. I climb the slight berm to the skimmer and lay stuff out. I take out one—and turned to straighten out the stiff cord, which has tangled. I mis-stepped on a larger than average rock, stepped back and put my foot down on the budget-killing OTHER bulb in its box—recoiled, lost my balance, dropped the bulb  I was holding, and at this point knew I was going down. In skating, you learn to turn a bit as you fall—arms in front and stiff-elbowed, shoulders tensed, protecting arms, hip-bone, neck—keep your head up: chin, skull, etc,  I dinged one knee somewhat sideways—never land on the kneecap, either—kept turning as I was going down, landed on the poor little hinoki cypress and kept going with the momentum, this time landing correctly on the side of my butt, thus saving the hip and the tailbone—except I landed on a pointed skull-sized rock, before rolling to a stop at the bottom. I got up, went back up, and found the first light apparently intact in its box, and the second, landing in the hinoki, was unbroken. I rejoiced, put it all together, shoved the ballasts into the Chinese garden seat, righted it, plugged it all in (not being a fool, I did not plug it in first and then go work with water and lightbulbs) and both bulbs lit. Hurrah!

I took three Advil, an equal number of glasses of Chardonnay, and am very happy to report that I am not even that sore this morning, except a little soreness in the butt when stepping sideways.

Mack Sennett should’ve filmed that one. Or I should try to sell the routine to Cirque du Soleil.