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Intruder

a few hardcovers and pbs available from Closed Circle, signed. Latest: Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood, Jane Fancher short story. Chernevog, part 2 of the Rusalka trilogy co-written by CJ and Jane; and Orion's Children, a tetralogy from Lynn. Plus, coming soon: e-books: Yvgenie, and books from Jane.

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At Miscon 2013, around Memorial Day, Missoula MT, At SoonerCon, in OKC, around June 15, also Spokon in Spokane, in July/August, Beyond that, we aren't sure.
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I need you, my friends: DAW is asking for a list of typos in Intruder. IF you are so inclined…

Can you give me typos you spotted in the Intruder Hardbound, in this form:
1. the text /what it should read/ page number/paragraph number/line number in paragraph.

This would be a great help to a really harried writer. I’m at a delicate spot in this book and the last thing I need is to confuse myself by going back into the prior one.

Just post them here, and we’ll try to put the list in order. That way people can tell if the one they remember has been reported.

39 comments to I need you, my friends: DAW is asking for a list of typos in Intruder. IF you are so inclined…

  • CJ

    THank you so much, new member ELF.
    Can somebody fill out these items from page cited? Much appreciated!

  • Page 6, paragraph 8, line one.

    This looks fine, the world “hell” occurs twice in italics.

    Page 143 Paragraph 8, Line 4

    I don’t believe this is an error. The item in question reads: “And the whole thing having blown up into a Guild crisis, with little Ajuri clan wielding a hidden influence in that body….

    Page 226, Paragraph 4, line 4

    This has been reported, it has “all very nearly handled” which should be “neatly”

    Page 316, first full paragraph 1, “In that thought–he did inquired about Dur’s arrangements..

    I think that one has been caught too, inquired should be inquire.

    Page 338 Paragraph 3 line 3

    …many people being involved ment the news of Machigi’s arrival….

    ment should be meant

    Page 349 paragraph 6

    I believe this one has also been mentioned, Tatiseigi’s apartment should be Tabini’s apartment

  • Page 316 paragraph 2 beginning line 2:

    Narani was determined to have a good fit on persons he sent out the paidhi’s door–stylish, entirely unremarkable as what they were, and compatible with court style…

    I believe a word is missing–shouldn’t it be “stylish, entirely unremarkable as (to) what they were”

  • CJ

    You all make copy-fixing sooooooooooooooo easy. I tend to get so snowblind to these things: I don’t so much read as see the words and know what I said [or meant to say/thought I said]—so I gloss right over some of them.

  • berylkit

    Page 251, Paragraph 8 “A pariid’ja, honored Father.” – elsewhere the spelling has one “i” “A parid’ja, honored Father.”

  • tulrose

    I’m working from the Kindle version. Starting on page 322 Lady Siodi becomes Lady Siadi. I hope I’m not too late with this.

  • CJ

    You’re not. And they can use Search to find that, since it’s a quasi-unique instance.

  • Levanah10

    Page 143, 7th full paragraph, concluding line (which is only one word):
    Missing period at the end of the sentence.
    Atageini”
    should be
    Atageini.”

  • Hanneke

    I’m almost halfway through, at chapter 9, going slowly and trying to do a good job. I’m also collating all the points mentioned here, with those I’ve found, into one list, sorted by page number. I can mail that to you on Thursday, would that be okay?

    Here are the typos I’ve found so far:
    ….
    Drat, I can’t stick a table in this comment.
    I’ll rework the list into plain text to post here.

    There are also a few question marks: not likely to be typos, but still things that I or someone above stumbled over while close-reading. Some of them may be due to my being a foreigner who writes clunky sentences, but some may be genuine ambiguities, easily clarified. I’m listing those separately.

  • Hanneke

    Here is the first half of the typos I’ve found so far.

    Page 13, paragraph 6, line 2: He was bored and angry, and went disconsolately from one thing to another, he tried to read the book nand’ Bren had lent him and wished he still had the vids from the ship that he had grown up with.
    (I’d expect a semicolon here instead of a comma, but that may just be me):
    He was bored and angry, and went disconsolately from one thing to another; he tried to read the book nand’ Bren had lent him and wished he still had the vids from the ship that he had grown up with.
    ***
    Page 38, paragraph 4, line 7: a letter of committment which
    Should be: a letter of commitment which
    ***
    Page 41, last paragraph, line 1-2: “But there having been five Marid clans, from antiquity. By my knowledge of the law of the aishidi’tat, when she says that you should be lord of all the Marid-you would hold all five votes.
    Should be either:
    “But there have been five Marid clans, from antiquity. By my knowledge of the law of the aishidi’tat, when she says that you should be lord of all the Marid-you would hold all five votes.
    Or:
    “But there having been five Marid clans, from antiquity, by my knowledge of the law of the aishidi’tat, when she says that you should be lord of all the Marid-you would hold all five votes.
    ***
    Page 48, paragraph 2, line 3: Banichi and Jago to go stand dinner duty, while Tano and Algini nominally to guard the room
    Should be: Banichi and Jago to go stand dinner duty, while Tano and Algini nominally stayed to guard the room
    ***
    Page 51, paragraph 6, line 2: “that the Tasaigin Marid become signatory
    Should be: “that the Taisigin Marid become signatory
    ***
    Page 86, paragraph 5, line 3: The only immediate bad thing
    I’m not sure about this, it might just be my unfamiliarity with colloquial English, but I’d expect: The only immediately bad thing
    ***
    Page 91, paragraph 8, line 1: Tell Eisi and Liedi I want to see them
    Should be: Tell Eisi and Lieidi I want to see them
    ***
    Page 93, paragraph 1, line 1: arrange it with Siedi-nadi
    Should be: arrange it with Sieidi-nadi
    (from paragraph 7 onwards he’s always called Sieidi)
    Also: Page 93, paragraph 4, line 2: I shall ask Siedi-nadi myself
    Should be: I shall ask Siedi-nadi myself
    ***
    Page 105, paragraph 5, line 3: To the lot, then and especially to the girl,
    Should be: To the lot, then, and especially to the girl,
    ***
    Page 110, paragraph 5, line 2/3: “Bring all the messages,” he said with a sigh, while Jago and two of the servants were unpacking the porcelains, he sat at his desk in his office and continued to sip his tea until Supani came back with the message bowl.
    Should be: “Bring all the messages,” he said with a sigh. While Jago and two of the servants were unpacking the porcelains, he sat at his desk in his office and continued to sip his tea until Supani came back with the message bowl.
    ***
    Page 119, paragraph 2, line 3-4: Bren said to Koharu, while dressing with the intent that Koharu should advise
    Should be: Bren said to Koharu while dressing, with the intent that Koharu should advise
    ***
    Page 121, paragraph 10, line 1-2: and decided they had gone quite far as could be useful in discussing
    Should be: and decided they had gone quite as far as could be useful in discussing
    ***
    Page 125, paragraph 7, line 4: probably he should tell Tabini that what was likely going on.
    Should be: probably he should tell Tabini that was likely going on.
    ***

  • Hanneke

    And here is the second half, up to chapter 9.
    ***
    Page 133, paragraph 1, line 8: And they lied to him. (endquotes needed)
    Should be: And they lied to him.”
    ***
    Page 143, paragraph 2, line 4: converting Lord Tatisiegi to a regard
    Should be: Lord Tatiseigi
    ***
    Page 143, paragraph 8, line 10: Atageini” (full stop needed)
    Should be: Atageini.”
    ***
    Page 152, paragraph 8, line 1: Tatisiegi was likely one topic of interest.
    Should be:
    ***
    Page 173, paragraph 3, line 4: And to Tatisiegi’s.”
    Should be: And to Tatiseigi’s.”
    ***
    Page 179, paragraph 11, line 5: and there was a mechieta waiting there
    Should be: and there was a mechieti waiting there (should be singular)
    ***
    Page 180, paragraph 4, line 1: “It gets warm when it sets,” he said. And it takes days to do it.”
    Should be: “It gets warm when it sets,” he said. “And it takes days to do it.”
    ***
    Page 183, paragraph 4, line 2: a long-limbed little creature all over with black hair,
    Should be: a long-limbed little creature covered all over with black hair,
    ***
    Page 183, paragraph 13, line 1-2: Veijico took the creature in both hands and gently pulled him away from its grip on her coat.
    Should be: Veijico took the creature in both hands and gently pulled it away from its grip on her coat.
    ***
    Page 186, paragraph 1, line 6: which still not that good a number.
    Should be: which was still not that good a number.
    ***
    Page 187, paragraph 2, line7: but they would not betray a surprise, would he?
    Should be: but they would not betray a surprise, would they?
    ***
    Page 187, paragraph 8, line 2: reached in and caught the harness,. Cajeiri carefully bent down
    (unnecessary comma)
    Should be: reached in and caught the harness. Cajeiri carefully bent down
    ***
    Page 188, paragraph 9, line 1: Atevi could. Mecheiti could, in their own way. (should be plural, I think, just as atevi is)
    Should be: Atevi could. Mecheita could, in their own way.

    ***

  • Hanneke

    Okay, I’ve finished the book and the consolidated list, including all the above-mentioned things.
    I can mail you the list in .doc, .rtf and/or .odt, whichever you prefer; or even in pdf but then you couldn’t edit it. Shall I send it to the authors at c-c address?

    Do you also want the rest of the list posted here?
    It’s a bit more work, cutting and pasting and adding the b and /b codes, but if you think it might be helpful I don’t mind doing it.

    It was a pleasure re-reading the book!

  • Hanneke

    It’s mailed off in all three formats to both addresses, in the hope you can use at least one of them and it’s in time for your DAW deadline.

  • Rosie-daja

    p. 27/1st para/3rd sentence (5th line) – add “to”
    Should read:…, and nobody had had to get out and push.

    p. 83/1st full para/1st sentence – remove”be”
    Should read:…His own bodyguard was going to have to have help…

    P 241/5th para/1st sentence – remove 2nd “never”
    Should read:… Given Murini had never been the brightest light to rule in Shejidan.

    P 251/5th para/3rd sentence – move the word “in” from before “Antaro” to after.
    Should read: … He met Antaro in the doorway and caught…

    P 316/1st full para/1st sentence – either remove “did’ or change ‘inquired’ to ‘inquire’
    Should read either:
    In that thought – he inquired about Dur’s arrangements…
    OR
    In that thought – he did inquire about Dur’s arrangements…

    P 331/2nd last full sentence at bottom of page – add “have”
    Should read: … violated orders, he would never have gotten loose.

    P344/8th para (counting single line para) or 4th from the bottom of the page/1st sentence or 3rd line of para – ‘grandfather’ should be ‘father’
    ….Damiri-daja’s father inbound and great-uncle,…

    P 364/7th para from bottom of page (counting single line para’s) – should Najida be Shejidan?
    I’m not sure about this one but I believe Bren is asking Machigi about his accommodations at the mission.

    *********
    This is my first foray into anything like this. I made the following notations after accidentally coming across your call for help about a week after your post. (Didn’t even know the Betrayer was out let alone Intruders. I had to do some serious catch up. Thankfully I still had one week of holidays and spent it reading Betrayer. Then onto Intruder after my work day.
    I’m impressed with the thoroughness of your readers.
    Forgive me if some of these have already been noted but I tried not to repeat.

  • lordvorp

    Wow, I was afraid I was the only one who noticed the switch from Tasaigin to Taisigin. :) Glad that was caught.

    But that’s ok, it wasn’t as confusing as the changing name of Tabini’s majordomo: Edi/Edo/Eidi/Edo was about the sequence I remember, before he stopped being mentioned by name. ;-)

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